Top 9 Horrible Words

9. Alright

Example sentence: "Y'alright mate?"

This is one of those words that owes its existence to everyday speech. "Are you all right, mate?" No Aussie talks like that and anyone that makes the effort to separate the two words is a snob, alright?

8. Ginormous

Example sentence: "That thing is ginormous!"

You take you young son to the museum and he sees a gigantic model T-Rex. As he tries to take in the full majesty of this prehistoric carnivore his curious mind tries to describe how awesome the dinosaur appears. 

"That T-Rex is enormous! No, it's huuuuge! No, wait, it's... it's... GINORMOUS!"

This word actually has merit when you are writing from the perspective of a child. In fact, experimenting with language in this manner is a very effective way of getting readers into the mind of a young protagonist. But if you are an adult, don't even think about it.

You are adults!

7. Orientate

Example sentence: "Wait. We need to orientate ourselves or we'll get lost."

Those hilarious businessmen and women are always making up words. In their world this "word" means "to take a new employee through orientation". This is by no means the worst business word  - that is coming up later - but it is still a shocker. Why not guide, teach, train, instruct, mentor, etc?

Another usage means "to gain one's bearings", but orient is better in every way. It is shorter and it doesn't have the confusion of being associated with orientations.

6. Irregardless

Example sentence: "Irregardless, I think we should proceed with Nick's course of action."

Quickly, what's the difference between flammable and inflammable? There is no difference. I wonder how many people fell for that ... Well, like the words in this example, there is no difference between regardless and irregardless. Most dictionaries consider this a mash-up of irrespective and regardless.

5. Rationalise

Example sentence: "I think we should rationalise our files."

Ah, now we're getting into the good stuff. Rationalise is actually an accepted word. The main definition states that when someone rationalises they are explaining their behaviour or attitude. In a business sense it means they are making something more efficient by organising the system or dispensing with unnecessary components.

The problem is that it is used for such simple tasks. People are "rationalising" everything. Can you just say "cleaning" or "stacking" or "organising"? You sound so pretentious when you say you want to "rationalise" the dishes.

4. Administrate

Example sentence: "Please administrate a dictionary to those who use this word."

The correct word is administer. That is all.

3. Actionable

Example sentence: "The next task is now actionable."

Presumably, this means "ready to have an action applied to", but wouldn't "ready" or "prepared" or "active" get the job done? Yes. This word seems to have had its horrible birth in legalese (the poor thing!) before it trickled down into popular usage.

2. Conversate

Example sentence: "Why don't you conversate more often? You're so antisocial!"

I did a double take when I first heard this word. It ticks all the horrible word boxes. It sounds pretentious, its meaning is ambiguous (conver-sate: satisfying through conversation?), and an existing word does the job better.

1. Guesstimate

Example sentence: "My best guesstimate for when this horrible word will disappear is about 50 years."

Stewie is judging you.

I struggle to control myself when I hear this piece of gobbledegook. More than any other word, this one sounds like nonsense. And it is. An estimate is a guess, so what the hell is a guesstimate? A guess guess?

We begin our little journey with the humble full stop. At first glance the full stop doesn’t seem to warrant further discussion. It ends sentences. Simple. But this simple function is, in fact, hugely important for the structure of the sentence, the larger paragraph and, as several masters have shown, the entire story.

Full stops are also used in several abbreviations (e.g. i.e.), but since this article will focus upon the structural influence of full stops I have provided handy list of abbreviations for your perusal.

From a basic structural point of view, full stops are quite hard to misuse. There is little doubt about the placement of the full stop in simple sentences:

‘The quick brown fox jumped over the wall.’

This is largely down to the sound. When a sentence sounds strange we will generally re-work the sentence until it sounds correct. But when a sentence is more complex the decision becomes less about grammar than about style.

Take this example from The Outsider by Albert Camus:

‘Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday, I don’t know. I had a telegram from the home: ‘Mother passed away. Funeral tomorrow. Yours sincerely.’ That doesn’t mean anything. It may have been yesterday.’

Notice how the full stops create a powerful sense of detachment. An ordinary person would be expected to grieve the passing of their mother, but the protagonist, Mersault, discusses the matter in an entirely factual manner.

Another example at the opposite end of the scale can be found in the engaging opening to Truman Capote’s non-fiction masterpiece, In Cold Blood:

‘The village of Holcombe stands on the high wheat plains of Kansas, a lonesome area that other Kansans call ‘out there’. Some seventy miles east of the Colorado border, the countryside, with its hard blue skies and desert-clear air, has an atmosphere that is rather more Far West than Middle West.’

Notice how the longer sentences, aided by commas, lend the paragraph a relaxed and natural flow that mimics the idyllic countryside of Holcombe. Notice the how this flow is disrupted if even one additional full stop is included:

“The village of Holcombe stands on the high wheat plains of Kansas. It is a lonesome area that other Kansans call ‘out there’. Some seventy miles east of the Colorado border, the countryside, with its hard blue skies and desert-clear air, has an atmosphere that is rather more Far West than Middle West.’

So, next time you are writing I urge you to consider the full implications of your full stop usage. How would you like the story or article to feel? Short and sharp? Relaxing?

Full stops have the power to create such feelings and should never be taken for granted.

The Role of the Editor

When I first decided to become an editor I had a simplistic and romanticised understanding of the editor's role. The editor was nothing less than an unflinching guardian of the English language.

With great grammatical understanding came great responsibility.

In my mind it simply wasn't acceptable for celebrities to use adjectives where they needed adverbs or for teenagers to pepper their daily speech with interjections like, y'know, whatever.

Whenever I recognised a mistake I felt honour-bound to ensure it was fixed and the person who made the mistake knew to never make such a silly mistake ever again. I often did this mid-conversation.

This did not make me popular.

But there is more at risk than popularity. Focusing intently on spelling, grammar, and punctuation trivialises the profession. Carol Saller hits the nail on the head on her blog The Subversive Copy Editor:

Scolding about typos and pouncing on errant apostrophes are cheap grabs for low-hanging fruit. And much of it is misinformed and counterproductive. Public sticklers waste our time on outdated rules or rules that never existed in the first place.

Pulling people up on these small details only creates friction. You might have the best intentions, but the person you're correcting is placing you in the same category as that annoying first grade teacher who insisted that sentences should never begin with 'because'.

My opinion about editing changed when I acknowledged that intelligence was not solely linked to eloquent communication. I knew people who could explain complex scientific principles, hone their bodies to perfection, and offer revealing psychological insights.

And they all helped me and were so happy to lend their expert opinions. 

From that moment I decided my role as an editor would be to help people communicate their passions with powerful and creative voices.

Welcome to Full Stop

Full Stop is a professional writing and editing blog built on the simple belief that nothing is more important than communication. 

Literally every single aspect of human interaction and development relies on some form of communication. Don’t believe me? Try to think of something that could be accomplished effectively without communication. 

Communication is not just an essential component of our lives; it is also a tremendous enabling force. When we are toddlers every tree is simply a tree. As we grow up and learn new words our world expands. Suddenly there are oaks, sycamores, wattles, pines, and many others. 

When I first decided to create this blog I remember noticing an interesting trend. Everywhere I went I met incredibly intelligent people that struggled to express their ideas. Many of these people would talk like, y’know, teenagers. 

How much better would their lives be if they could express themselves clearly and make others feel the electric excitement they felt for their passion every day? And how much better would our lives become if we are able to not just understand, but truly grasp the emotional gravity behind the ideas of our greatest thinkers? 

Full Stop is a resource for professionals seeking to improve their written and vocal communication. Every week I will comment on the latest news from publishing, share ideas and works from my favourite authors, and discuss the different facets the English language.

This is my passion. Full stop.